Ask The Angels: Finding Love Within

Dear Sarah,
 
 I've been wondering about a relationship, any possible chances for a second chance? He decided to end the relationship but I love him like no other -Michelle

Dear Michelle,
I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing heart break, and I hope my answer to your question will bring you some comfort. When people come to me asking about repairing failed relationships, I often see that these relationships ended for a reason. The messages I’m receiving indicate that this is the case for you and your former mate, whom I will refer to as Bob. It may or may not be possible for you and Bob to reunite, as the future can change depending on the choices you and Bob make. 
I’m intuiting that a relationship previous to your time with Bob negatively impacted your self-esteem. This partner was cold, often unkind, and temperamental. You developed beliefs about yourself that you were unlovable and not worthy of a healthy relationship. Understandably so, you carried these beliefs into your relationship with Bob.

Deep down inside you expected that Bob would leave you, so you self-sabotaged by starting arguments. At the same time Bob had behaviors that were disturbing to you and perhaps would have been deal breakers if you were feeling more confident in yourself when you first met.

The answer to your question is this: rather than trying to figure out if there is possibility of a second chance, ask yourself if you really want to have a second chance with Bob. You’ll find the answer to this question when you are able to love yourself fully. An angel popped up on my computer screen after writing that sentence so I know it’s important information for you.

Self-love is a popular term amongst those who are on the spiritual path, but it’s much easier said than done. Here’s an action plan based on channeling the angels and my knowledge as a mental health therapist:
Find a quiet place in your home, play soft music, light a candle, and write yourself a love letter. List all the qualities about yourself that are lovable. Your letter should at least be a page long. Notice whether or not you have any negative thoughts or judgments about yourself as you write, and write those thoughts on a separate piece of paper. Read your love letter when you wake up in the morning and when you go to bed at night.

Then take a look at your list of negative thoughts about yourself. Where did they came from? Most of the thoughts didn’t originate in your mind. They (advertently and inadvertently) came from family members, friends, teachers, dominant messages from society about beauty or image, and past romantic relationships. They started forming when you were young and continued as you got older.

Take your negative thought list and write positive “I am” statements. The purpose of these statements are to cancel out the negative thought patterns.  For example, if you wrote that you are stupid, write “I am smart”, or if you wrote “I hate my body”, replace that with, “I am grateful for my beautiful, healthy, body”. Transfer these positive statements to sticky notes and place them all over your home. Then take your list of negative statements and burn them. Throw the ashes in a garbage can far from where you live.

Chances are, you may not believe your positive affirmations are true at first. Our thoughts are incredibly powerful, and if we practice replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations, it can change the way we see ourselves. I recommend going to author Louise Hay’s website at louisehay.com to explore this further. Louise is an expert on how positive affirmations can change our lives.
 
Another message from the angels I’m getting is to stay true to your convictions without yelling or instigating arguments. Communication can make or break relationships. All you have to do is notice what bothers you. These steps are excerpts taken from the 4-Part Nonviolent Communication Process developed by Marshall B. Rosenburg, PH.D:

1. Observe what you see (the specific behavior that makes you angry) and state the facts. Ex: “You didn’t answer me when I asked about your day”.
2. Say how you feel: “I feel angry and ignored”.
3. Share what you need: “I need to feel heard”
4. Make a request: “Would you be willing to respond to my questions when I ask?”

This will take a lot of practice, as most of us don’t communicate naturally this way. I would start practicing this with friends and family when the opportunity arises.

Whether or not you or Bob get back together, I know you will find love again. If you can fall in love with yourself, you will draw a man who honors you and treats you with love and respect. When you feel like you can use extra help, call upon Archangel Zadkiel, the angel of healing through positive thoughts, bravery, and forgiveness of yourself and others, and Chamuel, the angel of finding soul mates. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be of service to you in your quest for love and happiness.
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I’m looking forward to hearing from more of you! Please email your question to [email protected]. Type Ask the Angels in the subject line and indicate how I should address you (using your real name, just initials, etc…) in my response. Feel free to visit my website if you’d like to learn more about my work at www.sarahitkin.com or find me on Facebook at @sarahitkinintuitivehealer.
 
 DISCLAIMER:  Despite confirmed psychic ability, intuitive visions and messages are not always 100% accurate. Therefore, Sarah Itkin and any sponsors must disclaim any and all liability to all persons and parties who act or rely upon her intuition. This column is for entertainment purposes only.