Have you ever heard the phrase, "We make plans and God laughs"? I worked hard trying to live a conventional life. My plan was to be a good social worker, a good mother, and a good wife. I knew I wanted to help people, but I felt like a failure at all my jobs. I also had a string of relationships that were short lived. I wanted to find the "one" since I was three years old and these unsuccessful relationships felt like failures.
I was in pain.
I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. But, now, in hindsight I know that if I became the good social worker, the good wife, and the good mother, I wouldn't have had the freedom to pursue my life's work as an intuitive healer and reader. I would have fallen short of fulfilling my life's purpose.
And I was so tired of falling short.
I want to share a bit about how I transitioned from life as a “muggle” to a “wizard”.
When I was in high school, I decided to become a Cantor, a Jewish clergy person who chants liturgy during services and works with the Rabbi to help lead the congregation. My spiritual journey began with singing in high school and Judaism. I wanted to continue this journey as my career.
Later, I went to college at the University of Miami to study music and Judaic studies so I could be prepared to apply for Cantorial School. But, almost as soon as I arrived, I found myself drowning in self-doubt. I was a small fish in an infinite ocean.
I was so scared every time I opened my mouth to sing, it affected the quality of my voice. My voice teacher told me that I sounded horrendous at times, which was of course soul crushing.
The beginning of my mental health decline came when my closest friend from high school Rebecca, died during my senior year of college. Rebecca and I called each other soul sisters. We dreamed similar dreams and ached similar aches. We were cut from the same cloth and supported each other through our angsty high school experience. Rebecca also profoundly impacted my life because she introduced me to the spiritual world.
I was always an anxious child, but depression and anxiety now took turns hitting me in tidal waves. I had never experienced anything like these crushing episodes before. I couldn't regulate my emotions without the help of my mom and best friends. I became promiscuous and self-destructive in many other ways. I stopped going to my classes and my grades were so low I almost didn't graduate.
What kept me afloat was my role as a cantorial soloist in college. Singing in temple felt sacred because I was leading others in prayer. My voice was a vehicle in helping congregants feel connected to God. Outside of temple singing became terrifying.
I managed to graduate and was accepted to Hebrew Union College for cantorial school. My behavior became increasingly out of control as I fluctuated from hypomanic to depressed states. I was overwhelmed with the idea of having to hold space for an entire congregation when I felt like a cyclone was spinning within. Singing in temple was no longer the safe and holy place it once was.
I started taking meds and my moods evened out slightly when I was twenty-four, but my mental health obstacles were far from over. I switched gears and decided to move to Washington state to live with my cousin Emily, who is like a sister to me. We moved to Seattle and I earned my Masters in Social Work. After I earned my degree, I worked in child welfare, which triggered massive bouts of mood instability because the work was so emotionally challenging. I continued feeling out of control in my behavior. When I recall some of the things I did and said, I still struggle with feelings of shame.
Emily moved to Boulder, Colorado and I followed her there in 2008. One day, she told me that her daughter’s child care provider could communicate with angels. Even though I considered myself to be spiritual and open minded, I remember almost laughing and judging the woman for being too “woo-woo.” I never would have believed that I would eventually develop the same gifts.
The Dream Changes
When I was about 19 years old, I began having psychic dreams. Some were completely irrelevant, like dreaming that my bike tire was flat and discovering the flat tire the next day. Others were terrifying. I dreamt that Rebecca died, and the dream was so detailed and vivid that I called her the next day to make sure she was alive. As I mentioned above, Rebecca died tragically a year and a half later. Every detail of my dream came true.
Rebecca was the one who introduced me to the metaphysical world. Her younger sister is psychic and was especially connected to the spirit realm when she was a child. Rebecca's mother believed in angels and the family frequently worked with a medium. All of this felt foreign to me at the time, but I was intrigued.
When I graduated college, I returned home to Rochester, New York feeling completely out of control and lost. I met “Jim” (I'm changing his name to protect his family), who claimed to be enlightened. Jim said his mission was to teach women how to become enlightened. We all know how that story ends, right? I was in such a dark, vulnerable place, and I yearned for some sort of spiritual direction. I couldn't allow myself to think that Jim’s motive was to take advantage of me sexually. Thankfully I escaped unscathed.
Once during a meeting with Jim, I saw little sparks of light that would shine for a second and then disappear. For a moment I thought that these sparks were celestial beings. Then I told myself that only enlightened, holy people could see such things.
When I mentioned it to Jim, he told me that something was probably wrong with my eyes, so I scheduled a visit with an ophthalmologist. He said there was nothing physically wrong with my eyes but nevertheless it must have been a result of some sort of benign physical anomaly. I accepted that explanation and eventually the sparks disappeared.
The following paragraph is graphic and disturbing (sexual assault) so please skip it if you are concerned about being triggered:
When I was thirty-four, I worked with adults as a mental health therapist. One of my clients was a war survivor. One day I took a nap and instantly fell into a dream state, but the dream was so lucid it felt real. I was zapped by something that incapacitated me. A group of men threw a blanket over my head, carried me to a house, and gang raped me. One of the assailants was wearing a police uniform. I finally managed to wake myself up. This is the type of dream a trauma survivor would have. I thankfully never experienced such a trauma. A few days later my client told me she was gang raped by soldiers during the war. Everything she described occurred in my dream.
That dream was the catalyst for me to finally acknowledge the fact that it was time to harness my psychic energy. I decided to take the plunge and work with a teacher. I didn't want to continue to dream about trauma and death.
Rebecca’s sister Rachel introduced me to her psychic development teacher, Diane Ronner. She worked with me on healing mental health struggles through self-love and psychic development. I was in psychotherapy for years, but I think my therapist was at her whit’s end because I wasn’t making enough progress. Developing my intuitive abilities was healing because I felt I was connecting to my deepest truth.
The first reading I had with Diane shook me to the core. She proclaimed that I would become a successful Intuitive Healer. I would write a book and give lectures all over the country. A book? Me? I couldn't comprehend that the life I envisioned for myself would be replaced with such a journey. I never considered myself to be very intelligent and writing a book was the furthest thing from my mind. And giving lectures? Absolutely not. So, the next day as I was walking down the stairs, I thought of Diane's outlandish vision, freaked out, missed the second to the last step, and fractured my foot.
I was told by a shamanic healer that in shamanism, all memories, issues, and traumas are stored in the bones and teeth. When you break a bone or tooth it’s an opportunity to reflect on the past to see if emotional healing is necessary. It’s the universe’s way of shocking a person into paying attention and slowing down.
As I write about fracturing my foot, I’m sitting on my couch nursing a broken toe. I see how the shamanistic perspective holds true in my life. After my reading with Diane, I couldn’t recognize my own power. So, the universe forced me to slow down and stop running from it. Last week my guides told me I was about to go through another powerful transformation, in which my dreams would come true. Low and behold that night I fractured my toe, bringing to light that I’m still afraid of my own power.
Even though my reading with Diane was triggering, I felt blessed because I finally discovered my magic. My abilities as a psychic medium exploded. I realized that the sparks I was seeing all those years ago were in fact angels.
One day at work the tiny sparks appeared while I was at my computer listening to music. I knew they were angels, but I asked them to give me a sign by playing Pachabel’s Canon. Moments later Pachabel’s Canon came on. Then I asked the angels to play my favorite song on the radio when I was driving home from work. I turned on the radio and my favorite song was playing.
I began seeing archangels and received signs that the angels were surrounding me on a regular basis.
I started giving readings at psychic fairs and my intuition continued to blossom. It was as if someone opened the flood gates to the intelligence of the universe.
At my last job as a therapist, the angels were floating around my social work clients’ heads.
I had the strongest desire to share this during my sessions, but it would have been grounds for getting fired. When I went to work, I started feeling like I was hiding a very important part of myself. It was soul crushing.
My first official spiritual client was a young woman who was feeling stuck in life. After her initial reading, I realized that if I relayed messages from the angels, utilized my psychic intuition, and drew upon my training as a mental health therapist, I could help her heal at a much faster rate than if I stuck to a traditional therapeutic model.
I believe in the power of psychotherapy, but it’s not the only path to emotional healing. I wanted out of the mental health care system. I prayed to the angels, and asked them to help me work as an intuitive healer full time. But, I didn’t trust that I could support myself working as an intuitive healer alone and was afraid to quit my job.
One morning I saw Archangel Raphael and Chamuel before I got into my car. I asked for a black and white sign as to whether or not I should build a website for my intuitive healing business. I was afraid that if I built a website, the agency I was working for would fire me. I imagined that they wouldn’t want their employee to be known in the community as a psychic.
I sure did get my black and white sign! And it was incredibly painful. The clinical director showed up at my office that day and told me I was suspended without pay because a person in a position of power from another agency complained about me.
At that point it was clear that it was time for me to take the leap and finally step into my power as an intuitive healer.
If I told you that I changed careers without ever looking back, I would be lying. Stepping into authenticity has been deeply rewarding but also incredibly scary at times. But I am privileged enough to be able to fulfill my life’s purpose. My goal now is to help others do the same.
I've really been struggling with intense bouts of anxiety and fear about money on and off my entire adult life. I originally chose a career in Social Work, the lowest paying profession in the country, and often found myself living from paycheck to paycheck. If only my education as a child included learning to cope with fear of not being able to pay my bills! I could have been equipped to handle a tight budget. Instead, there were times when I felt like I couldn’t breathe from worry.
When I left my salary in social work and committed to earning my way as an intuitive healer and solopreneur, I knew I would need encouragement from spirit to stick with my plan. In fact, I don't know if I would have had the guts to move forward without constant reassurance from the divine realm. In this blog post I will share my experiences with angels so you can trust that the angels will be there to guide you when you need them most.
Leaving the safety net of a regular paycheck was and continues to be a huge challenge, but being able to perform my life's work by being in service is worth every moment of worry. I never know when or from where exactly the money is going to come in each month, but thankfully it comes. And it seems to flow more freely when I release, surrender, and let go.
The key to living a happy, serene life is letting go of expectations. I always admire free spirits for so many reasons. They are experts at letting go. Letting go is FREEDOM. These people are so dialed in to being present they don't worry about the future. Successful spiritual healers and teachers are deeply rooted in faith in a higher power.
I am absolutely NOT a free spirit, but I'm working on getting there. I believe the spiritual experience is like a rubber band. I have moments or days feeling the abundance of the universe, like I'm soaring. I think to myself, I made it! I finally rid myself of the fear of not having enough. I finally trust that I will have everything I need to be okay. Then I take my car in to get fixed and I have to pay $2000 in repairs.
Boom. Fear leaps back into my heart within a split second.
When it comes down to it, surrendering your fears is a skill that can be learned. I'm committed to mastering this skill so I can know what true spiritual freedom tastes like.
I'm often asked to define the concept of angels. From my perspective, angels are celestial entities whose mission is to help humans lead happy and peaceful lives. I was raised in the Jewish faith and was taught that angels are messengers of God. This resonates with me because I have a strong faith in God.
But angels aren’t only for believers in traditional religion. I believe that all of us can evolve, expand our awareness and fully embrace the certainty that we are truly not alone on this planet.
Can you imagine what it would be like if we could see the angels and loving spirits every day and we could hear them talking to us? Reassuring us that everything would be okay in the end? Showing us that there is so much more to our existence than the physical plane?
In the meantime angels respond to our anguish with signs. We just need to learn how to recognize them! For example, angels communicate with us by revealing repetitive number patterns. Most people notice 11:11 first, usually because they happen to look at the clock precisely at that time on more than one occasion. The trick is that the angels get us to look up at that moment. That's how you'll know you're not making it all up.
Noticing angel numbers and understanding their meanings is a lot easier than trying to hear the angels speak to you directly unless your intuition is off the charts.
Shortly after I developed my intuitive gifts I came to the realization that I didn't want to be a therapist anymore. It was my life's purpose to be an intuitive healer full time. But I couldn't see how I would be able to make enough money doing it to support myself. I needed little nudges of encouragement in order to fully believe that I would become successful.
When I reached a level of intense dissatisfaction at my last job, I started to see the number 69 everywhere. My phone number has a 69 in it, there was a 69 on my license plate, and as I drove to and from work each day I noticed 69s on other license plates. I randomly parked in front of houses numbers that were labeled 69. I bought items that were x amount of dollars and 69 cents.
I became friends with a woman at my CrossFit gym (of all places) who told me that angels communicate through numbers. She referred me to a website, www.joannesacredscribes, posted by Joanne Walmsley, an expert on angel numbers. According to Joanne, angel number 69 means that,
"The angels are asking you to 'let go' and 'release the old'. It is a message that reassures you that whatever leaves your life will be replaced with something 'new' and 'better'...Angel number 69 also suggests that an important phase or cycle is ending in your life for very karmic reasons. These necessary endings and closures will lead you to find your true path and purpose which the angels are prompting you to fully undertake. Your angels encourage you to get to work on your divine life purpose and soul mission safe in the knowledge that all of your monetary and material needs will be met along the way. As you focus on and spend your time, energy and efforts on your spiritual interests and passions, the universe will provide for your needs. Give any fears or concerns to your angels for healing and transmutation and be prepared to live your spiritual truths".
Boy, did that resonate at the time! It was an awesome reminder that I was being guided along my path. Every time I saw that number I felt safe and held by the angels. I read that the angels will send more angel number patterns your way once they have your attention.
I was reaching the end of my rope at the agency I was working at and saw no end in sight. One night when I was despairing, a car with the license plate 777 pulled out right in front of me. Then I started seeing 777s everywhere. The meaning according to Joanne is that it was time to reap rewards for my hard work. I was able to leave my job about 6 months later.
I'm from Rochester, New York, home of Kodak and trash plates (a trash plate is a pile of artery clogging delights on a plate). I was planning on living in Rochester for the rest of my life, even though I wanted to live under a therapeutic light box so I could cope with the long, gray winters.
A year into my practice as an intuitive healer, my cousin Emily, who is more like a sister to me, revealed that she and her family would be moving to Boulder, Colorado. I was absolutely devastated. When they left, I literally felt like a huge piece of me was dying. In an effort to console me, Emily suggested that I move out to Boulder as well. She thought it would be a great place for my business.
But Boulder is the land of kombucha and honey! It's a mecca for healers of all shapes and sizes. I thought I would be competing with a million psychic mediums, while in Rochester my gifts were fairly unique.
At the same time, I was becoming really skilled at manifesting. I learned that if I told the angels I desired something and let it go completely, I would get what I wanted. So, I told the universe I wanted to travel between Rochester and Boulder, spending large chunks of time in each place.
I decided to visit Emily and give readings at a psychic fair outside of Boulder. When I arrived, I saw number patterns 22, 55, and 555's everywhere. According to Joanne, these numbers mean that monumental changes would be taking place and everything would be okay. One of the meanings of 22 is that the most ambitious dreams would come to reality.
The psychic fair was slow, but I intuitively knew that the fair would open many doors for me and I would experience financial abundance as a result. A few minutes later I gave a reading to Clay McCaw, an actor and producer who was searching for a medium to be in his docuseries. He enjoyed the reading and offered me the position! I moved to Boulder a few months later, and I've been able to go to Rochester every two or three months for a few weeks at a time. My wish was fulfilled in the most miraculous way!
Packing up and moving my practice to Boulder was terrifying. I was so fearful that I wouldn't be able to support myself after my contract for the documentary ended. Joanne says that Number 444 means that "your connection with your angels and the angelic realm is very strong at this time. You are encouraged to continue on our current path as your drive and determination will lead to success and fulfillment". Wouldn't you know that the three-digit central office code for many businesses in Boulder County is 444? I kid you not.
I'm going to continue share other ways in which the angels attempt to insert themselves into our physical reality. In the meantime, if you're looking for signs that the angels are connecting, all you have to do is ask!
When I was in 9th grade I had my whole life planned out: I was going to become a Social Worker like my mother and work as a mental health therapist. I would get married at the age of 27 and have children at 29. I would live with my family in a house in the burbs. I would open a private practice and work as therapist until I retired at the age of 65.
I worked SO hard to make that a reality. I went to grad school, worked for years at mental health agencies where the caseloads were high and the moral was low. I studied my butt off and spent thousands of dollars so I could pass my license exam and finally earn my License in Clinical Social Work. Just as I was ready to finally open a private practice, my psychic awareness opened up and the rest is history. I’ve kissed the conventional life I planned for myself goodbye and now I’m sitting on my couch, writing a blog about communicating with angels and dead people.
My first mediumship experience occurred when I was in my 20s. When a close friend died suddenly, I began reading about life after death to help me process the loss. My reading helped me feel connected to my friend. A few months later, I visited my cousin Jack who had end-stage cancer and had reached a point in which his health was rapidly deteriorating. I shared my thoughts about the afterlife with Jack, but he didn’t believe. I jokingly told him to give me a sign that I was correct after he passed away.
It turns out, Jack delivered! When I was at his funeral, the name Peter popped into my head. I remember asking myself, “Who’s Peter?”, when the man sitting next to me introduced himself. He was Peter! He and Jack were best friends since they were two years old. I felt a great sense of calm, knowing for certain that it was possible for people to connect to their loved ones after they pass away.
I didn’t have another spirit connection until about ten years later when my psychic development teacher began teaching me how to become a medium. She taught me specific exercises to use, such as holding an object that belonged to the deceased and looking at their photograph in order to establish a connection. Who would have thought that I would go from learning about therapeutic techniques supported by extensive research to waiting for spirts to come through as I stared at their photographs! Ah, the twists and turns of life and the hereafter.
Years ago, someone told me that a friend of hers could see and communicate with angels. Even though I considered myself to be open minded, I remember feeling very skeptical. I never would have believed that I would eventually develop the same gifts.
When I was about 19 years old I began having psychic dreams. Some were completely irrelevant, like dreaming that my bike tire was flat and discovering the flat tire the next day. Others were terrifying. I dreamt that my best friend in high school died. The dream was so detailed and vivid that I called her the next day to make sure she was alive. My friend died tragically a year and a half later. Every detail of my dream came true.
During the darkest and most painful part of my life in my early 20's, I saw little sparks of light that would shine for a second and then disappear. For a moment I thought that these sparks were celestial beings. Then I told myself that only enlightened, holy people could see such things. I was working with a man who claimed to be enlightened at the time. He said his mission was to teach women how to become enlightened, but unfortunately he tried to take advantage of me instead. He told me that something was probably wrong with my eye, so I stopped believing and the tiny sparks eventually disappeared.
Two and a half years ago, I began seeing the sparks of light again at work. This time I knew they were angels, so I asked them to give me a sign by playing Pachabel Canon on Pandora. Moments later Pachabel Canon came on. Then I asked the angels to play my favorite song on the radio when I was driving home from work. I turned on the radio and my favorite song was playing.
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and I’ve worked as a mental health therapist for children, teens, and adults for years. As my ability to communicate with the angels grew stronger and my psychic and mediumship skills developed, I felt limited in my work as a therapist. As an intuitive healer, I am able to combine my knowledge in mental health and my ability to see and channel angels with my skills as a psychic medium to provide an alternative modality to mental health counseling. I also use Reiki, a form of energy healing, to provide a holistic approach to emotional and physical healing. I have been able to help children, teens, and adults decrease symptoms of anxiety, depression, and physical pain, heal relationship issues, cope with grief and loss, and increase self-esteem. I’ve also been privileged enough to help some clients develop their own psychic gifts! I enjoy participating in psychic fairs and providing readings at psychic parties, but my true calling is to serve as a vessel to the angels so I can help people heal. I am so honored to walk with my clients on their sacred spiritual paths and help them become their highest selves.